As the war hits London, they’ll band together… War strikes close to home for chief librarian Cordelia when her flat is bombed, and her beloved Robert is called up and sent abroad. Fortunately, her colleagues Mavis and Jane can help see her through hard times. The three friends find purpose in making the Silvertown library a friendly sanctuary for their deprived and devastated community. But sinister forces, from callous bureaucrats to crafty criminals, still lurk among the stacks. Worse, Jane’s soldier husband is injured and suffers both physically and mentally. With so many struggles Cordelia and her friends might need more than books to survive war’s shadow. Can they find light in the darkness? A captivating tale of resilience and determination, perfect for fans of Lizzie Lane, Elaine Roberts and Lesley Eames
My Review: I thoroughly enjoyed this heartwarming and well written story set in the East End in 1940, during the Blitz. It’s the second in a series but I had no issues with plot or characters even if I didn’t read the first one. I loved the tone and the style of writing, even in the most tragic moments there’s always something that makes you think about future and hope. Cordelia, Mavis and Jane are very differents persons. They comes from different social backgrounds and their characters are very different. But they’re able to join forces and face the difficulties of the the historical moments and those cause by bureucracy or simple pettiness. Tom, a part time volunteer, is a very original character: he’s a conscientious objector and it’s the first time I read about one in a historical fiction set in WWII The author did an excellent job in mixing tones as there’s humour, some drama and some moments when you feel angry. The historical background is well done as it makes you feel how hard it was. I cannot wait to read another book in this series, this one is highly recommended. Many thanks to Boldwood Books and Rachel’s Random Resources for this arc, all opinions are mine.
When Maggie’s best friend admits he’s in love with her, she’ll have to decide whether it’s worth giving up something good for something that could be amazing in this laugh-out-loud friends-to-lovers rom-com.
After a bad breakup, Maggie wants to find her Prince Charming, but all she’s finding are frogs. When her best friends, Savvy and Joan, apply pressure and demand she find a date worthy of attending their respective weddings, she agrees to take her own advice and try online dating. Since she’s the maid of honor for both weddings, her bridal party duties are massive, but both brides insist that Maggie prioritize finding a date. After an onslaught of maybes, noes and hell noes, she’s close to giving up, when she meets a handsome doctor at the gym who just might be the one. Meanwhile, her college bestie, Garrett, throws salt in everyone’s game. At every turn, he points out the red flags and tells Maggie to keep looking. Things come to a head when Maggie demands that Garrett be happy for her, and he finally admits that he can’t. Not when he’s not with her. When he blurts out his feelings, Maggie’s world is turned upside down. Now she must choose between the perfect guy and a friendship that is the foundation for everything she’s ever wanted.
My Review: I had fun as it’s a refreshing and well plotted rom-com featuring a strong female character and a realistic description of the world of dating. No insta-love, the frogs who thinks are swans and a lot of dates that makes you wish you were home watching television. Maggie is single after a breakup but she’s lucky because she’s got great friends and maybe one of them could be the right one. This is a friend-to-lover story and, even if it takes some suspension of belief, I rooted for Maggie and Gareth. The Queen-of-Skipping-sex-descriptions did her job and I had fun in reading the adventures of this groups of characters. Entertaining and well plotted even if a bit dragging at times. Recommended. Many thanks to the publisher for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Law grad Taj McCoy is committed to championing plus-sized Black love stories and characters with a strong sense of sisterhood and familial bonds. Born in Oakland, Taj started writing as a child and celebrated her first publications in grade school. When she’s not writing, Taj boosts other marginalized writers, practices yoga, co-hosts the Fat Like Me and Better Than Brunch podcasts, shares recipes, and cooks supper club meals for friends.
One murder, three families destroyed And a detective guilty of a crime of her own
When 18-year-old Ben Renshaw is found dead in city woodland, DCI Robin Lyons is plunged into one of Birmingham’s most controversial cases. Months earlier, Ben and his best friend gave testimony that sent a former classmate, Alistair Heywood, to prison for a vicious sexual assault. Before the trial, the boys and their families endured months of brutal witness intimidation, for which the Heywoods, a privileged and influential local family, faced no legal repercussions. Instead, they vowed revenge. Is Ben’s murder the fulfilment of that vow, the beginning of a bloody new chapter that will go on claim lives on all sides? Or is the truth – as the Heywoods claim – something entirely different?
To solve the case, Robin has to negotiate the city’s networks of power while walking a dangerous line: her own daughter, Lennie, has a secret that could threaten her liberty – and, if it comes out, Robin’s, too. Before long, Robin comes to question whether she knows what justice is at all.
This is the last stop in the #TeamLyons blog tour that reviews all the books in this series. This is a book you can read as a stand-alone, but reading them in order will make you appreciate the evolution of Robin, a single mother and homicide investigator who moved from London to Birmingham, and of the main characters in this series. The author deals with some very sensitive issues like sexual abuse, entitlement, misogyny. It brings you to dark places and into the centre of human darkness. I started it while I was travelling and I was so engrossed that only the name of the stations made me realize time was passing. Robin’s life is as complex as usual: she’s a woman who is part of a complex family, she’s attracted to her boss who’s married and is a former lover. Her daughter is a teenager who is involved in the trial of her uncle and is not very happy. This is the behind-the-scenes look at a complex and highly political investigation. There are twists, red herrings, and a possible culprit related to the victim‘s social activity. The author is an excellent storyteller, and I was kept turning pages and guessing. Loved it, highly recommended. Many thanks to the author, Orion and Compulsive Readers for this ARC; all opinions are mine.
Lucie Whitehouse is the author of seven novels, including the Birmingham-set Robin Lyons crime series of which Last Witness is the third. Her novels of psychological suspense include Before We Met, which was a Richard & Judy Summer Book Club and ITV Crime Thriller Book Club selection, and The Bed I Made, which was a Channel 4/TV Book Club pick. The previous Robin Lyons novel, Risk Of Harm, was a Sunday Times Crime Novel of the Month. Lucie grew up in Warwickshire, studied Classics at Oxford and worked in publishing in London before moving to Brooklyn where she now lives with her husband and daughter.
This is a common review of these two mysteries as I read one after the other and there’s an interesting character’s arc. I’m not a fan of Freya. As soon as she appears she starts to insult anyone who’s not an early bird because she can’t understand how they can spend daytime in bed. I’m a night owl and this marks the beginning of our rocky relationship. That said Freya slowly changes and we go from a stubborn and not very empathic character to one who’s more soft and ready to understand people around her. The mysteries are well developed and kept me turning pages. They require some suspension of belief but they’re well done and the twisty and gritty plots kept me hooked. I think that the second is better as we do not know why Freya is disliked by part of the small town and what is really happening when she’s being shunned by parts of the inhabitants and this is a sort of mystery in the mystery even if you know if you read the blurb. Freya’s a good leader and I liked the member of her team, Candy and Brad, and Esther, the woman who acted as Freya’s mother. There’s a lot of potential, well plotted thrillers and I had fun in reading both novels. The rating is 4.5 upped to 5 Recommended. Many thanks to Bookouture for these arcs, all opinions are mine
Three Drowned Girls
When Freya Sinclair was a little girl, she had no idea what her parents were hiding in the basement of her childhood home…
After five years away from her hometown of Fawn Lake, Detective Freya Sinclair isn’t expecting a warm welcome from the people she’s sworn to protect. She became a detective to bring serial killers like her parents to justice, but the tight-knit North Carolinian community can’t see past her twisted roots. Minutes after stepping foot back home, the body of a dark-haired young girl is pulled from the river and Freya races to the scene. She’s determined to identify the child and finally prove herself, but before Freya even has a chance to search through missing persons, another girl is reported missing. Freya’s heart breaks at the sight of little Isa’s blonde ringlets and pristine soccer uniform in the photo her father clutches, but the look on his face says he doesn’t trust Freya. Does he think she’s just like her parents, or does he have a sinister secret of his own? But when another innocent girl is found drowned, Freya finds a white hair ribbon snagged on a branch, and instantly recognizes it as part of the soccer team uniform at the local school…
Two drowned girls. One daughter still missing. Can Freya save Isa before she becomes the third victim? Or has the killer already set their sights on Freya next?
One Liar Left
The one killer Detective Freya Sinclair never caught is back…
High up in the mountains of Clear Creek Forest, where mist clings to the pines, the bodies of Millie Woodward and Jolie Marin are discovered by their fading campfire. Could this be the work of the notorious Fawn Lake Killer? This forest was once his hunting ground. And Freya knows the tattered, red woolen scarf wound tightly around Jolie’s neck is hiding his chilling MO. Her throat has been cut.
The one case Freya has never solved has haunted her for years. She knows the Fawn Lake Killer is organized, that he never leaves any DNA. But why did he stop, and why has he resurfaced now? Before she can even search the forest, Freya makes a heart-breaking discovery in her own backyard: the body of Annaliese Nowland, her long blonde hair fanned out in the tall grass. Annaliese’s tongue is missing. Freya knows it’s a message: he’s silencing these women. And taunting Freya. Working day and night to make a connection, Freya finally uncovers the missing puzzle piece: a photograph of all three victims in high school together. But there’s a fourth woman in the photo, her face turned slightly away from the camera. Freya must track her down before it is too late. Freya won’t let the past repeat itself. Did these women die because of her failure, or is she overlooking a vital clue that points to someone close to home? Freya must face her demons if she’s going to stop this predator taking another innocent life. But he’s one step ahead. And he’s coming for her…
‘My defloration was talked about in all the courts of Europe. The Prince boasted of his prowess, even as preparations were being made for his wedding, as boldly as if he had ridden across that causeway with bloodstained sheet tied to his lance.’
1584, Italy: Twenty-year-old Giulia expects she will live and die incarcerated as a silk weaver within the walls of her Florentine orphanage, where she has never so much as glimpsed her own face. This all changes with the visit of the Medici family’s most trusted advisor, promising her a generous dowry and a husband if she agrees to a small sacrifice that will bring honour and glory to her native city. Vincenzo Gonzaga, libertine heir to the dukedom of Mantua, wants to marry the Grand-Duke of Tuscany’s eldest daughter, but the rumours around his unconsummated first marriage must be silenced first. Eager for a dynastic alliance that will be a bulwark against the threat of Protestant heresy beyond the Alps, the Pope and his cardinals turn a blind eye to a mortal sin.
A powerful #MeToo story of the Renaissance, based on true events.
My Review: The Medici and Renaissance are always intriguing and fascinating. They are the poster boys for an age even if the Borgia are more famous for their real or supposed depravation It was an age of creativity but it was also a violent and cruel age and it wasn’t very kind to women unless you were very strong or powerful. I read about “mortal sin” in the blurb, please not that paying attention to Church in the sex field as there are tons of Handbookx for Confessor through the centuries that talks about this type of sins, this means they were quite in the top ten of popular sins. Another note: there’re some women who rebelled and are celebrated through the century and made Giulia, the heroine of this book, is pawn in the power plays but it’s also a clever and strong woman. There’s a mix of historical facts and fiction and I appreciated how the author recreated the historical background and did a good job in mixing the different elements. I enjoyed it and rooted for Giulia, a woman who refused to be the pawn in the hands of the powerful ones. It’s a well plotted story and I appreciated the storytelling that kept me reading. Recommended. Many thanks to Katherine Mezzacappa and Rachel’s Random Resources for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Katherine Mezzacappa is an Irish writer of mainly historical fiction, currently living in Italy. She has published several novels under pen names with publishers Bonnier Zaffre and eXtasy. She works as a manuscript assessor for The Literary Consultancy. Katherine reviews for Historical Novel Society’s quarterly journal and is one of the organisers of the Society’s 2022 UK conference. In her spare time she volunteers with a used book charity of which she is a founder member.
There is excitement in the air as the travelling theatre arrives in Seal Bay. When The Spriggan Travelling Theatre Company arrives in Seal Bay to perform a Cornish version of King Arthur the locals flock to be entertained. But for Morwenna Mutton, sexagenarian librarian, wild swimming enthusiast and amateur sleuth, the theatre brings intrigue too. Actor and director Daniel Kitto is not the most popular member of the cast and unbeknownst to him, his role of Uther Pendragon on the opening night is to be his swansong. In front of a horrified audience, he collapses during the dying moments of the performance in a pool of fake blood, and although the police are content that the causes of his death are natural, Morwenna isn’t so sure. And once it becomes clear that there are a number of people who stand to gain from Daniel’s death, Morwenna’s investigation takes a dangerous turn. If you love Miss Marple and The Thursday Murder Club, then you’ll love The Morwenna Mutton mysteries.
My Review: Morwenna Mutton is an eccentric and clever sixty-something that I love as I think the more you age the more you get the right to be eccentric and don’t care about what other think about you. I was glad to catch up with her and the cast of quirky characters. I liked them in the first instalment in this series and loved in this second one. This is a well done and highly entertaining cosy mystery: there’s the right level of mystery, small town vibe, weird characters that never take the front seat and makes the mystery an accidental part of the plot. I love Judy Leigh’s storytelling and style of writng and this solid and fast paced novel kept me hooked and being surprised. Can’t wait for the next one, this one is highly recommended. Many thanks to Boldwood Books and Rachel’s Random Resources for this arc, all opinions are mine.
Judy Leigh is the USA Today bestselling author of The Old Girls’ Network and Five French Hens and the doyenne of the ‘it’s never too late’ genre of women’s fiction. She has lived all over the UK from Liverpool to Cornwall, but currently resides in Somerset.
London, 1677. A house with a dark secret. A lawyer in pursuit of magick. A witch, dead for fifty years. Israel Cutler, dealer in second-hand goods, discovers the journals of Doctor Winter. Detailing the doctor’s relationship with a hanged witch, he recognises an opportunity. Seeking out a lawyer he knows with an interest in the occult, Cutler tries to sell the journals, but soon finds himself involved in a terrifying ritual—one that could bring black witch Lizzie Pickin back from the dead. Again. Forced into a dangerous partnership, the witch leads Cutler on a trail of murder and revenge. In this horror series set in London, Shadow of the Witch is book #2 in the Black Witch Saga.
My Review: The cover attracted me as it made me think of an actress of a diva of the silent movies age, someone like Theda Bara. It’s a short novel of a long novella and it brought me to dark places and made me live some disturbing moment. This a mix of horror and thriller so I’m not shocked if there’s darkness and disturbing moments as it’s part of the game. The author did a good job in developing the world building, the historical background and the fleshed out characters. Even if it’s the second in a series it can be read as a stand alone. I read it in one sitting and hope that more person will read it because it’s entertaining and gripping. Recommended. Many thanks to Colin Darrow and Rachel’s Random Resources for this digital copies, all opinions are mine
Colin Garrow grew up in a former mining town in Northumberland. He has worked in a plethora of professions including taxi driver, antiques dealer, drama facilitator, theatre director and fish processor, and has occasionally masqueraded as a pirate. His short stories have appeared in several literary mags, including SN Review, Flash Fiction Magazine, Word Bohemia, Every Day Fiction, The Grind, A3 Review, 1,000 Words, Inkapture and Scribble Magazine. He currently lives in a humble cottage in Northeast Scotland where he writes novels, stories, poems and the occasional song. He also makes rather nice vegan cakes.
436 AD. The Burgundars are confident of destroying Rome’s legions. Their forces are strong and they have beaten the Romans in battle before. But they are annihilated, their king killed, his people scattered. Their fabled treasure is lost. For Rome has new allies: the Huns, whose taste for bloodshed knows no bounds.
Many years later, the Huns, led by the fearsome Attila, have become the deadliest enemies of Rome. Attila seeks the Burgundars’ treasure, for it includes the legendary Sword of the War God, said to make the bearer unbeatable.
No alliance can defeat Attila by conventional means. With Rome desperate for help, a one-eyed old warlord from distant lands and his strange band of warriors may have the answers… but oaths will be broken and the plains of Europe will run with blood before the end.
Drawing on Norse mythology and European history, Sword of the War God is an epic historical adventure perfect for fans of Bernard Cornwell, Joanne Harris, Neil Gaiman and Christian Cameron.
Review: You start a book and you’re immerse in a mythical and epic world, a dark age that is the moment when a great empire collapse and some of the western founding myths are born. There’s an exciting moment at the beginning of the book as you meet characters out of myth and history. They mix the different plant and you could think they’re part of the same story and they were all historical characters The Dark Age myths are all presents in this novel, a sort of tapestry and you will meet heroes from the well-known sagas like The Nibelungen or The Matter of Britain. I think this is a novel that should be read listening to Wagner’s Der Ring des Nibelungen. I had to admin I’m not a fan of the Nibelungen, school curricula can cause this, or the Ring, love some parts. Tim Hodkinson is an excellent storyteller and kept me turning pages and being enthralled by the fast paced and tightly knitted plot. It was a great travel into the Dark Age as there’s a lot of researched behind the world building and the development of the fleshed-out characters. An excellent historical fiction, gripping and intriguing. I strongly recommend it and think it will be loved by fantasy aficionados too. Many thanks to ARIES for this ARC, all opinions are mine
Tim Hodkinson grew up in Northern Ireland where the rugged coast and call of the Atlantic Ocean led to a lifelong fascination with Vikings and a degree in Medieval English and Old Norse Literature. Tim’s more recent writing heroes include Ben Kane, Giles Kristian, Bernard Cornwell, George R.R. Martin and Lee Child. After several years in the USA, Tim returned to Northern Ireland, where he lives with his wife and children.
AUTHOR Social Handles Twitter: @TimHodkinson Facebook: The Whale Road Chronicles Website: Tim Hodkinson
Aries/Head of Zeus Social Handles Twitter: @AriesFiction Facebook: Aries Fiction Instagram: @headofzeus TikTok: @headofzeus Website: http://www.headofzeus.com
In 18th century London, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. A lot of knowledge is deadly.
When ambitious apprentice chemist and secret alchemist Peter Woulfe is tasked with caring for a mysterious illustrated book, the Mutus Liber, he quickly realises that the grimy underworld of Georgian London is even more dangerous than he first believed. Soon the book is stolen by the light-fingered Sukie and Peter finds himself being pursued by threatening men who are willing to do anything to get the book back. Where in teeming London might Sukie be found? Why is Peter so enthralled by her? And what is it about the Mutus Liber that is so enticing? As the search for the book becomes an urgent game of cat and mouse, it seems that the key to Peter’s present dilemma might only be found in half-remembered events from his childhood, and then further back still, in the mists of Irish myth.
A spell-binding and unputdownable tale about spirit and matter, love and lust, and reality and magic.
My Review: A historical fiction set in an intriguing historical time frame: the first half of XVIII century. The main character, Peter Woulfe, is one of the last alchemists and is tasked with an illustrated book, the Mutus Liber. It seems an easy task but if you go intro the Georgian London underground something will happen, like being robbed of your book. It’s the start of an adventure that involves Peter, a man divided between magical and rational thinking, into the search for the book and an intriguing woman. There’s myth, there’re historical facts and the re’s a lot going on. It’s a bit slow at the beginning introducing Peter and his world and it becomes fast paced after some chapters. I’m fascinated by books about alchemists and the illustrated book is an added bonus. I enjoyed it and appreciated the well-rounded characters and the vivid historical background. There’s twist and there’s a lot of surprises. 4.5 upped to 5 Many thanks to Eriu Books and Compulsive Readers for this digital copy, all opinions are mine.
Leeanne O’ Donnell was born in Dublin and now lives in an old farmhouse on the foothills of a mountain in the remote south west of Ireland. She feeds her cats, dogs, chickens, daughters and wife reasonably regularly – and occasionally waters her poly-tunnel. She has yet to learn to write a proper shopping list but has managed to finish her first novel while hiding in an old caravan in the garden.
SPARKS OF BRIGHT MATTER was inspired by the magic of the mountain where she lives and the whispers of the ancient stories buried in the surrounding landscape. She is interested in all the big questions like what it means to be alive, and which crisps go best with a pint of Murphy’s stout. In SPARKS OF BRIGHT MATTER she explores the liminal spaces between magic and reality, spirit and matter, love and lust.
She started her storytelling career working in radio with RTE and BBC – and has made a number of award winning documentaries for RTE’s Doc on One series. Notably THE LADIES OF LLANGOLLEN about two Irish aristocrats who ran away together in the 18th century and DIVING AND FALLING about dancer and artist Lucia Joyce. She is also a trained psychotherapist and is frequently awed by the sacred work of helping people to understand and transform their own real-life stories
Sparks of Bright Matter by Leeanne O’Donnell is published by Eriu (Bonnier Books UK) in hb, ebook and audiobook on 11st April.
Sara’s eyes fill with tears as she reads the letter, her last words from her dearest friend: ‘I’m buying you your freedom. You don’t need to ask your husband’s permission and you have to put yourself first for once. Have an incredible adventure before it’s too late for both of us…’
Sara has lost her zest for life. Trapped sharing a house with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, with grown-up children who still need her but take her for granted, working in a job where her boss bullies her, the final straw is the heartbreak of losing her beloved best friend Lainey. But Lainey’s death could be the beginning of Sara’s new life… as the last gift Lainey gives to her friend is a sum of money and a request: that Sara travels to Italy, the scene of the pair’s youthful adventures, and scatters Lainey’s ashes on the beach at Portofino. For once, Sara decides to be brave. She quits her job, tells her family they can manage without her, and sets off on the trip of a lifetime. Swept up by new friends and relishing the freedom of being away from home in beautiful Florence, Sara finds herself drawn to Carlo. Handsome and charming, he is everything Sara finds it so hard to be: carefree, impulsive, living in the moment without worrying about the future. And then Sara sees something she shouldn’t… and discovers a secret about Carlo that makes her question everything she thought she knew. Stuck at a crossroads in her life and her travels, she can’t face returning home yet, but nor is she brave enough to continue the challenge that Lainey set her. And then she meets an English woman who tells her about an apartment in Rome, that could just be the answer to everything… Return to the sunny streets of beautiful Rome with this heart-warming and romantic story about discovering your true path in life. Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell, Elin Hilderbrand and Sheila O’Flanagan.
Kerry Fisher is a million-copy bestselling author. She writes women’s contemporary fiction, is a USA Today bestseller and her books have been translated into twelve languages. She was born in Peterborough, studied French and Italian at the University of Bath and spent several years living in Spain, Italy and Corsica. After returning to England to work as a journalist, she eventually abandoned real life stories for the secrets of fictional families. She lives in Surrey with her husband, and a naughty Lab/Schnauzer called Poppy, who joins in the huge dances of joy when her young adult children come home. http://www.kerryfisherauthor.com/ https://www.facebook.com/kerryfisherauthor https://www.instagram.com/kerryfisherwrites/ https://twitter.com/KerryFSwayne
Lainey’s last letter was a gift and a guilt trip rolled into one.
A gift on many levels, including written confirmation that I was her best friend. Even in these circumstances, I was delighted to note that her university friend Angela hadn’t beaten me to first place, with the hand-tied posies from her garden and her ‘tone’ with the hospice nurses, as though she alone knew what Lainey needed. Petty considerations aside, I hadn’t known what to expect when the solicitor had told me Lainey had left me a letter. I’d been surprised that my chaotic, spontaneous friend had been so organised and pragmatic about her last wishes. I could hear her voice, her words as my eyes flicked over her sentences. For the most part, her letter was the glorious summary of everything we’d done together, the recollections of one of those rare people who’d lived my history alongside me. The memories particular to someone I’d known long enough for her to have come on holiday with me and my parents. Who’d loved my guinea pig, Geronimo, who knew cheese was a sure-fire way to entice my old Labrador inside, who had the knack of the sharp kick to close our front door that swelled up in winter. The only person who could remind me about my misadventure on the fairground waltzers after too much candy!oss, our crush on the bingo teller at Butlin’s, Lainey’s ill-advised experiment at her eighteenth birthday party with Galliano. Galliano! Who even drank that any more? I scanned her reminiscences, acutely aware that there were so many more days when we’d laughed and danced and lived. They were lost in time now, days that we didn’t know to treasure. We didn’t understand the recklessness of allowing life to fly past without pausing to commit those golden times to memory. We squandered joyful moments, letting them flutter away like fireflies, glittering against a night sky. Instances when we should have noted the heat of the summers that seemed to last forever, the euphoria of laughter that reached peak hysteria whenever my mum told us to go to sleep. Loss obscured the warmth of the occasions she listed. When Lainey had died, people had often told me to take solace in my memories. What they forgot to tell me was that the good times smile innocently, presenting a veneer of comfort, but get too close, try to hug them too tightly and they explode in your heart. It had taken me several attempts to read all the way through, the sight of her sloping writing transporting me to school, when she’d practised her ‘married’ name to a variety of different boys on her exercise books. My eyes skimmed over the funny stuff until I reached the purpose of her letter. So it’s up to you now to recreate the summer of ’84. Not the concert at Wembley, obviously, though I’m always up for a burst of Nik Kershaw’s ‘I Won’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me’. I breathed out, feeling the phantom weight of Lainey swaying on my shoulders, arms high above her head in the afternoon sun. Eighteen years old, just finished school, the whole summer ahead of us. We thought we’d live forever. It’s all on you now. I want you to take me to Italy. I know this might be a big ask, but I’m hoping that enough time has elapsed that you won’t hate me for forcing you back there. Who knows, you might even lay to rest some ghosts of your own (while releasing mine – win, win!). I’m not going to suggest you return to Rome… that might be a stretch even for someone as loyal as you, but I’ve become quite taken with the idea of ending up in the sunshine on the Italian coast. Going in a box wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but it feels like a fitting tribute to the best summer of my life. Do you remember sitting by the harbour in Portofino listening to that guy play Lionel Richie’s ‘Hello’ on his guitar? Then his cousin invited us onto the yacht where he was a chef while the owners had gone ashore for the day? That day was one of those experiences that encouraged us to shed a bit of who we were, to let go of the rules that had de!ned us until then and to glimpse who we might be now we were free to choose. We’d eaten lobster, smoked Lucky Strikes, flirted and felt as though we were destined for something big. I’d never felt so cool or bohemian before. Or since, probably. We promised ourselves we would come back in the next century – it seemed soooo long until the year 2000 when we’d be thirty-four. Thirty-four! Ancient to us then. And then we never made time for it. Should have told everyone – my work, your family – they’d have to manage without us for a month. So here it is. Twenty thousand pounds. I’m buying you your freedom, my love. You don’t need to ask for Declan’s blessing. You just have to give yourself permission to put yourself first for once. The twins can wash their own pants for a few weeks. Get me to Portofino and let me loose into the sea. I kind of like the prospect of wafting about in the waves, travelling to the far corners of the earth ad infinitum. I think the afternoon we ended up on that yacht was one of the standout events of that century. Lainey and Sara living it large! I’m not sure I’d ever drunk champagne before. And that beach at San Fruttuoso with the monastery built right on the sand – no one there, just us, the chef and his cousin and a motorboat that wouldn’t start… Great memories, my friend. We had no idea what life held for us then, did we? Or how flaming short it would be! You go and live for me, my darling. Have an adventure for both of us before it’s too late. But don’t simply take me back to Italy. Use the opportunity to go where the music takes you, to live freely for a while and let your heart breathe. Con amore, see you on the other side, my friend. My lifelong friend. (Such a bummer that lifelong was nowhere near as long as we’d envisaged!) Lx
A gift of a letter. A homage to our friendship. A written record of the love that existed between us. And a guilt trip because I kept putting off the day when I’d gather my courage to go on a journey with Lainey for one last time.
Scrapping&Playing 